Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

by Candace

January 5, 2007

Hi all, this lovely little joke came to me in email today, and I can do some wonderful teaching with it, for new readers to come, and maybe some of you. For those of you who don't know who Forrest Gump is, he was a wonderful retarded character played by Tom Hanks in the movie by that name. Here's the "joke."

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He
is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates
are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We
have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place
is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But
nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the
test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three questions.

First:
What two days of the week
begin with the letter T?

Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:
What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day
and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have
had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be
Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not
what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not
specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the
next one?" asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk
about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve
seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter.

"I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though
that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final
question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first
two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the
name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I
learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run, Forrest, run."

Give me the ability to understand a clean joke, To get some humor out
of life, And to pass it on to other folks.

Candace: Now beloveds, Forrest Gump went to heaven, based on something of import from his experiece of living. You see he came out of the box of animal human life, and into the realm of Godly thinking. He got a thought adjuster you see, because of those answers. The Thought Adjustor, (meaning the Father Fragment) comes when one can self determine outside of the societal box. And further growth in your lives comes from coming out of the societal box.

Had Forrest given the traditional answers expected to the above questions, he would have failed the test! Life is not about following others, but of course younger souls do, that's a way to learn, but about becoming all you can be, and that requires your own self determination of your choices in your life. No one can get you into "heaven", only you. Only you can grow your soul.

For those of you who are Urantia Book readers, you are aware of the "first couple" from the earth evolutionary process that received Thought Adjustors. They were a twin brother and sister, who felt they had something more than what the family social structure offered to them, and then chose to leave and persue a new life. These ones were amongst those still tending to sleep in the trees at night etc. I will refer you to reading, starting on page 707 of paper 62 of the Urantia Book, about this charming couple and continue on into Paper 63.

In this story above, Forrest Gump, this imaginary person, had developed the ability to worship, wisdom, and the will to ascend. In the film, of that name, all the other attibutes of mind-spirit were present in the character.

As you read the above section of the UB, compare the basic knowledge you obtain with others of whom you know, and then also, look unto thy pets, because you see, cats and dogs on Urantia sometimes are beginning to get Thought Adjustors, and I have a pretty story to tell around beloved SaraCat, my own kitty who came out of the "kitty box" of cat mind, and found worship, wisdom, and the idea to ascend. She also knew she was different, as did Andon and Fonta. She became human, even though still in a cat soul carrier body.

That's a story for a bit later, and I will be sometime write a fun book, for kids and their adult family members, called "Conversations with Sara, what cats know."  (They know they reincarnate, by the way). Sara has passed this plane, and is happily attending morontia school #1. I had another cat also obtain this lofty goal.  I would advise, that for those of you who feel like your pets are almost human, that indeed they are. However, most of the time, the animal PUMA soul moves up to experience in the human body before it earns a thought adjustor. I highly suggest you truly consider your pets as members of family, and humans in the making, for in doing so, you show them possibilities and their ability to think improves, and they may begin to strive for something more!  That's why they come to you!