Hi everyone. Today is December 20, 2007. I decided to go to the forum to look for an old post I did about dimensions and densities, as its getting time to get the work up on that topic. While there I decided to read a post I made one year ago today. Both some forum members and some other readers were getting discouraged with the waiting, because after all, we are all chomping at the bit to get into our “real work.” And so today, one year later, we are still doing this, and I am sure some are in a bit of despair, but this year I think I see a bit more hope based on mail and my general gut feeling, as readers are maturing in their spiritual growth.
It has been a bit more than 2 years since we opened the website, that was December 6th 2005. And nearly 3 years since I became public with the first piece Esu (Sananda Immanuel) and I wrote and published on January 31, 2005. I posted the first 6 to www.lewisnews.com, in my column I wrote for that service. I sent copies to several others, and on February 12, (if memory is correct), Patrick Bellringer of www.fourwinds10.com placed those first 6 on his website, and I was in “7th Heaven” as was Esu. That was a goal, and we were both well pleased and most grateful indeed to Patrick. Despite our differences that developed, I remain grateful to this man and his gift to the world, in choosing to publish my works.
I don’t due much with Christmas anymore, because I outgrew the need to follow its consumer rules and regulations. But this year seems a bit different, and I am feeling a huge step up in my own personal growth. I await the changes with total confidence and let little things bother me much less.
This Thanksgiving and Christmas season I have been revisiting this experience of almost three years and am in a huge space of gratefulness for all that has come about with this journey. I have a great team in place, a website, and many who have or are creating the missions, and thus seeding the future of earth with a better vision. I have new friends. I have learned so much from all of you during this journey and I thank all of you for your sharing with me over this time. Together we move forward into the next stage.
Here’s the piece I wrote a year ago, just off the top of my head as a forum post. I think it worthy of sharing beyond the forum, and I have not made any changes to it, except to correct typos. I kept it's original title also. To a great and wonderful New Year in 2008. Take care, Candace I AM THAT I AM
Using Despair to Create AbundantHope
By Candace
Posted to the AH Forum on December 20, 2006
Hello all, in the recent threads covering despair and discomfort in the wait, I find an opportunity to give one FINAL piece on this.
Many claim to be in despair right now, and partially relate their despair to the long wait. I am stating, that would you have rathered I not done this, and you were unaware? But many who have read my material found hope in it, and laid plans totally on the timing, and making this their salvation. My organization cannot be your salvation, as only YOU are your salvation. If you find a way to participate that helps you, that is fine. But what of your despair, had it not been decided to take this public, or if it was to not exist at all, this Second Coming process? You would still be responsible for your despair.
I am not down playing despair, because it was my own despair that I answered to, and created the organization and named it as I did. If you have not read the first couple chapters to my book, which may or may not ever been finished, The Miracle That Is Me, I ask you to do so.
I have been in the pits of despair on many occasions in this life. I usually label this as going to hell and crawling back out again! But my despair a number of years ago, was very close to a terminal fatal depression. I was offered as in the writing (The Miracle That Is Me) the opportunity to check out, and the reason I did not take the opportunity was because I saw this as a failed incarnation, and I felt the desire to rectify it. So I stayed, and began a plan.
Beloveds, despair and depression always, always means that one is angry, fed up, and can't see a solution. It always means that one's creativity is on hold. And it is always the opportunity to examine and begin anew. This is my experience both my personal journeys into despair, but also my observation of others in despair. I have observed this a great deal in my journey as a nurse, and as a mother and friend of others. Despair signals a change is needed, and that the creative process has become stifled.
While some doctors tend to think this is an organic disorder, I think it is only organic because of the effects of the soul's choice on the body. It could be that some new souls might have DNA issues, but in the majority of cases true despair is a place of being stuck, often with anger attached to it. Pills will not fix this, returning to the creation process does.
I want all of you to know, that I do know what despair feels like, and right now, I have been in a state of boredom, due to the wait. That is in part why I decided to ask all of you to re enter the creative process and start writing up the detail of your plans, some of which are rather vague at this point. I figured during this wait, that this could be a productive use of my own state of boredom, and assist some of you out of yours.
The greatest creation often comes out of the greatest despair, and that is evident in this creation of mine. Others have done the same. How about the boy poet, who had muscular dystrophy as an example. He could have whined away his life, but instead he took living to another height and motivated and amazed many by his knowledge at such a tender age and his ability to persevere against all odds. Many have done this.
I was heavily chastised by for starting this project, in which I was told I was creating false hope for many. No, I am not. To create false hope is not my purpose. These ones were either without knowledge, or intentionally trying to make me quit and shut up. Then there was that stuff that Patrick Bellringer created. I have many and long stories of these last two years.
It started on Thanksgiving two years ago. At that time we were not discussing going public with the details. AH was a threat to them, before I was public. On Thanksgiving eve, I was microwaved and endured the worst health hell I have been in. I was ignored by hospital staff, who did not get a doctor to my treatment once I was removed from emergency room to a floor.
There was obvious dark influence in an effort to prevent my survival and I knew it. I did not know the cause of this sudden illness at the time, but I knew it was lethal and there had been some sort of attempt to end AbundantHope. Amongst what I saw, was that my own doctor despite my giving his name repeatedly and it also being in my records, was never notified. My daughter even called his office, and his help did not notify him. It is customary to notify the patient’s doctor upon admittance to the hospital. I had taken an ambulance to the emergency room in the wee hours of the morning, about 4 am. Even my daughter's assistance by phone was ignored in all ways, and she had to show up to assist me. I had planned to the spend thanksgiving at her house, doing my famous pies as my contribution. I am an outstanding pie, cake, cookie, and candy cook.
The house doctor did not come, until around 3 PM in the afternoon, despite my wailing for care. The ER doctor forced upon me a barium swallow for x-rays, even though regular x-rays defined that my guts were seriously obstructed. I was threatened with being put back in the ambulance and taken home if I did not agree to the test. That is what I should have done, but in my pain I succumbed to her and was made far worse. That hospital will see a lawsuit in time.
At the time, I considered maybe I should throw in the rag and go ahead and check out, as I was offered back in 1998. Enough did seem enough, but I made the decision to stay and so I was resurrected by Rafael, who caused the nurses to stay out of my room for a period of about 12 hours except to tend my IV's and I went into a blessed coma for the repair work. I awoke healed and out of pain that could not be relieved by a narcotic drip of the most powerful narcotic available. I went home a day later, and took care of my healing alone and in peace.
That event and the despair of it, did not shut me up. In fact, it came to me the idea that maybe we should make this public, and begin the preparation of others to take part in the mission area. And so here we are, to greatly shorten the story and bring it up to date. You can read my final post in the Galactic faction thread that is causing this my current response to a chronic issue here. So much for my two days off.
I ask, where would you be without this knowledge? Still in despair, or would you be doing something to come out of it? Many, in fact probably most of you, unless you are a new comer to this planet and have come from a quiet world, have been through despair many a time. The original 144,000 found themselves often in horrid circumstances, such as being burned to death, life after life.
I have only been on this planet 6 times, but I have experienced Dachau, and I experienced being taken into slavery, and thrown overboard into the Atlantic, as I assume my most discouraging events upon this plane. But I think this life is probably the most intense and discouraging to me of these 6. I don't really know for sure, all the details of the others.
But I do have some good memories from Dachau, a place of great discouragement and despair. Many were flat out of their minds, unable to cope. They were either babbling idiots, or living in other realms, out of contact with reality. The others lived in such a state of fear that they could not get together and overcome a few guards and dogs, and flee the place. There was much babbling about being God's people and just why had God once again trashed us. And I have seen that same comment on daystar TV, in a program that raises money for the Jews of Israel. When one gets over being God's special people, and taking of the earth, as the Khazar false Jews have done, and get up and fix it, maybe something will happen for them.
But I digressed. There were some of us who did attempt to motivate a fight and to no avail. So we bound ourselves together into a support group and served those that could not serve themselves. We founded a community in that awful place, and we died there, in community, which was usually maintained by the living as time went on. I haven't looked at what occurred in the Akashic records of Dachau after my own exit from the place due to starvation and disease.
I was on the burial crew, with my twin sister of that time, who is my granddaughter now in this life. We were often served up human flesh for dinner as a source of food. I did eat that, because I found my survival useful to the community we had formed at that time, and we agreed to stay alive as long as possible, in the hopes of our release, and in order to serve those who were not as strong.
That is the success story of my experience in Dachau. I lived in the place for nearly 3 years, passing this plane in 1942. I was a dissident, which is how I found myself in that place in 1939. It was the first real camp and its purpose was to remove the dissident population. I have no doubt that I would have experienced a concentration camp at some point in that life, because that was my Jewish experience, in this journey to understand religion on planet Earth.
Beloved's, I went public despite the threats and the experience that occurred because it seemed important to create a community to begin the support necessary to this public Second Coming. I thought I could recruit people and get a head start. I also thought it was high time to get involved in all the information that is all over the place and confusing everyone and get the basic correct facts down and in place. And I think that has been accomplished.
I thought I would write maybe a dozen pieces, and then would be getting to work myself, but that was not to be. Instead I found myself doing updates, and responding to reader questions, and the "channeling" project grew, instead of terminating. I did not come into this to be a channel only. I long to mostly stop that, and have decreased it, and this is because many are dependent on channelings, by anyone. There are websites that collect channelings and distribute them. They are important as a source of information, but becoming addicted to them is not who you should be.
On this confused planet I do realize it is difficult to know truth, but truth itself varies according to knowledge. I know people who spend their time going around following one after the other, instead of following themselves, and engaging in a variety of rituals that they believe will cause enlightenment, or salvation and a trip to heaven.
Enlightenment is a place in which you know you exist, are First Source energy, recognize that you have unlimited potential, and drive your current journey from that knowledge of who you are. There is no magic ritual or person or group that can provide it for you. It is a state of being that you come upon yourself. When you can honestly state, in comfort, I AM THAT I AM, knowing this means you drive your own car, and take responsibility for yourself and your actions and chose service to higher ideas, you are enlightened.
Some of you are not working your missions, at least that is the appearance, and sit needing updates. Some request updates to maintain their sanity a couple times a week, and there is no need to update this often. The work is behind the scenes. Some updates have been given as messages to the dark. Some are given to placate. The plan remains solid and there are no updates. Jess has done several, I have done a couple, and they all say the same, do they not? There is not detail to be given that has not already been given, and you must await the Michael's timing. It is his timing, this is his universe, and by God, he is God. And we came to serve his idea, and we must await his timing, when the plan is in perfection, otherwise our efforts would be wasted.
Someday I will do a message called Creator Sons School, to give a general idea of what the Creator Son undergoes before he goes about to build a universe from an expanding nebula. This Creator Son moved into Salvington about 300 billion (300,000,000,000) years ago. So I assume he knows his business because this universe has not folded up and turned into a black garbage hole. It has in fact, despite the known rebellions, been quite successful in taming the dark of this galaxy and allowing the growth potential to us who would be future master creators of high rank. This is a creator son with a mission and a vision that has been somewhat out of the box of what a creator son has traditionally done.
If Christ Michael has as a mission to provide a fertile schooling for the creators to tend the future creations, might we just stop all the talk that provokes despair, and instead do talk that creates vision?
Some of you fear that this will not happen. I think this is unfounded. Some do have doubts, and not matter what I say, I can't lessen those doubts, only you can. I would ask what you would do, should this project not be successful? I ask myself that from time to time, and I do most surely know that I will not allow myself to descend back into that hell I was in 1998. I will not let my creative skills hit the pits again, even if the pits include a trip back into a ghetto concentration camp.
You see since I did that last time, and I survived the experience so well, that I was the first in my family to check back into earth in 1947, 5 short years after my leaving it. I was so excited about getting back, that I chose to take on a mother, that was not perhaps in my best interest. I was advised to await a better family, but I felt sooooo strong then. And my grandmother to be was a strong sound soul. I saw a safety net in her, and that proved accurate, she was.
As a result I had my ” been there, done that” experience of having a brutal mother who made several attempts on my life for daring to be born, after she tried so hard to abort me. She never forgave me for that!!!!!! Right down to after she passed and attempted to haunt me. She did see survival, there was some good, and she was taken to the new planet, and I assume is in counseling until she is made ready to resume her journey. I admit, its nice having her gone and somewhere else.
I do understand the frustration of this long wait, but sitting in frustration without doing does not solve anything. This is why there are not going to be anymore frustration threads, because it has solved nothing except create once again, another bitch session that takes my time, and also that of those that take up my cross in my defense. It serves to arouse those in doubt and reinforce the doubt. Enough is enough on this issue. When people start this, they need to be ignored. I will be removing and I will ask others on my team to remove posts and threads in which this comes up again.
Being community does imply support, but it is not necessary to keep revisiting the past. It is time to seed the future. The point of all of this, its just time to move on, and to stop backtracking and move forward, and create the future, consciously. I continue to ask that those of you who plan to head an organization in association with AbundantHope, to enter into serious planning, so you have a plan that is not "wispy" and has substance. This is a good way to move out of despair, and back into hope, AbundantHope. Now you know why I chose this name. Take care, Candace
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Seeking Visionaries ,who can and will create the many messianic missions needed to heal Earth and her peoples, and bring balance. Seeking those who Know their truth, and will strive earnestly to stand in that truth 100% of the time, making every moment of everyday, a Holy Event. TWO OR MORE IN MY NAME. ~ www.abundanthope.net
